1. I’m from the FAA and I’m here to help you.
2. Me? I’ve never busted minimums.
3. We will be on time, maybe even early.
4. Pardon me, ma’am, I seem to have lost my jet keys.
5 .I have no interest in flying for the airlines.
6. I fixed it right the first time, it must have failed for other reasons.
7. All that turbulence spoiled my landing.
8. I’m a member of the mile high club.
9. I only need glasses for reading.
10. I broke out right at minimums.
11. The weather is gonna be alright; it’s clearing to VFR.
12. Don’t worry about the weight and balance — it’ll fly.
13. If we get a little lower I think we’ll see the lights.
14. I’m 22, got 6000 hours, a four year degree & 3000 hours in a Lear.
15. We shipped the part yesterday.
16. I’d love to have a woman co-pilot.
17. All you have to do is follow the book.
18. This plane outperforms the book by 20 percent.
19. We in aviation are overpaid, underworked and well respected.
20. Oh sure, no problem, I’ve got over 2000 hours in that aircraft.
21. I have 5000 hours total time, 3200 are actual instrument.
22. No need to look that up, I’ve got it all memorized.
23. Sure I can fly it — it has wings, doesn’t it?
24. We’ll be home by lunchtime.
25. Your plane will be ready by 2 o’clock.
26. I’m always glad to see the FAA.
27. We fly every day — we don’t need recurrent training.
28. It just came out of annual — how could anything be wrong?
29. I thought YOU took care of that.
30. I’ve got the field in sight.
31. I’ve got the traffic in sight.
32. Of course I know where we are.
33. I’m SURE the gear was down.
10, 30 and 31. I hear them ALL THE TIME. Like, the FUCK you had the field at three miles, I can barely see my hand out there in that soup! You just know First Air is right behind you and you want your VFR departure when you leave. Not happening bud, VIS is 3/4!!
Oh, and 34? “We’ve found a hole, we’ll cancel IFR.”
Underpaid, Overworked, and not really respected.
Need a 35. “Slowin down to 250 under 10,000”
28 is the story of my life